Bah, Humbug!
Posted 10-26-2007 at 03:58 AM by phoenix
The Holidays are fast approaching and each year I find myself in the position of defending our choice not to accept certain types of gifts. Sigh. It is not that we do not appreciate receiving the gift or the thought and care of the giver, but I am teaching my children that it is better to give than to receive. The warm feeling within the heart creates life-lasting memories. Do you remember every gift you ever received? I certainly do not. Okay, where does not accepting gifts come into play in my rant. I believe that accepting certain types of merchandize demoralizes children, takes away their childhood by forcing them to grow up sooner than necessary, creates a since of entitlement and shortens the availability of natural resources while at the same time increases pollution along with depleting the ozone.
My oldest is 18 and my youngest of three is 10. I have had a standard, “The children do not need,” list since my oldest was seven. Each year, a relative or close friend decides that as the parent of these children, I’m mad to not permit the children to accept dolls that are brats, dolls with 42-18-34 measurements, somethingzoid that transforms into an assortment of vehicles and or animals, trendy cartoon character items, or clothing that is not made from 100% natural materials. A cheap 100% cotton t-shirt means more to me than a poly/spandex, posh top with some name brand plastered across the front from a company with horrid employee conditions & pay.
Our requests are simple:
No plastic
No electronics until 14 or later if not responsible
No clothing with advertisement or slogans
No manmade materials—mainly plastic
No dolls with breasts—don’t get me wrong, my kids know the anatomy of both genders
No bratty dolls
No TV or movie characters
And a few other no-nos.
Our yes list is quite simple, too:
Handmade items
Cotton, hemp, or natural fiber clothing-- can be used
Art supplies sans the googly-eyes, etc.
Erector sets
Cloth or ceramic/porcelain dolls
Science equipment
Metal or wooden toys
Puzzles
Craft supplies: knitting, painting, beading, scrap booking, woodworking, clay
Books
Tools
Art/craft/building kits
Donations to favorite organizations—of clothing, toys, food, money or time
College funds
My oldest child, who heads off to college fall of 2008, thinks his childhood was perfect. Yes, mouth dropping, but he feels he’s better off as he does not care about name brands, could care even less about what others think of his “style’, doesn’t understand why folks have to have a phone attached to their ears every hour of the day, and that video games are cool, but rather read a book. He finds it odd that some of his friends will not go anywhere if they do not have door-to-door service via car. Yep, he is considered a nerd. However, he can think for himself, and cares about the future of this planet & his generation’s legacy to its children. Not bad for only being 18.
I find myself defending my choices for my children, as I am deemed fanatical or eccentric. I make the choices I do because I have the responsibility of not only raising respectful, civil and honest citizens of American society, but also human beings that are financially and environmentally conscious of all their actions and how those actions could have an effect on someone across the world from them.
Since my children comprehend this—at least I hope they do, I consider my job done in the area of financial and environmental responsibility. Please, pass the torch on to your children, and your children’s children. We on occasion believe we are in this all alone, but if we each just say no to certain items, and teach our children to just say no, a domino affect happens, and spreads. We are human, we do not do what others say, but from experience as a parent, we certainly emulate what others do.
Say NO to Holiday gifts that go against your personal values. Do not just accept the items and return them to the store. Tell the giver, ‘thank you,” and make clear why you cannot accept the gift. When your children are older, they can write thank you notes explaining why they choose to not accept a specific gift. You may hurt a few feelings along the way, but your conscience will be clear. And you may be surprised at how many folks do not know the background behind an item from creation to finding it on the store shelf. Educate them, too.
So, I bet you’re wondering what we do to celebrate the season or what types of gifts we give to others.
Until next time . . .
Peace
My oldest is 18 and my youngest of three is 10. I have had a standard, “The children do not need,” list since my oldest was seven. Each year, a relative or close friend decides that as the parent of these children, I’m mad to not permit the children to accept dolls that are brats, dolls with 42-18-34 measurements, somethingzoid that transforms into an assortment of vehicles and or animals, trendy cartoon character items, or clothing that is not made from 100% natural materials. A cheap 100% cotton t-shirt means more to me than a poly/spandex, posh top with some name brand plastered across the front from a company with horrid employee conditions & pay.
Our requests are simple:
No plastic
No electronics until 14 or later if not responsible
No clothing with advertisement or slogans
No manmade materials—mainly plastic
No dolls with breasts—don’t get me wrong, my kids know the anatomy of both genders
No bratty dolls
No TV or movie characters
And a few other no-nos.
Our yes list is quite simple, too:
Handmade items
Cotton, hemp, or natural fiber clothing-- can be used
Art supplies sans the googly-eyes, etc.
Erector sets
Cloth or ceramic/porcelain dolls
Science equipment
Metal or wooden toys
Puzzles
Craft supplies: knitting, painting, beading, scrap booking, woodworking, clay
Books
Tools
Art/craft/building kits
Donations to favorite organizations—of clothing, toys, food, money or time
College funds
My oldest child, who heads off to college fall of 2008, thinks his childhood was perfect. Yes, mouth dropping, but he feels he’s better off as he does not care about name brands, could care even less about what others think of his “style’, doesn’t understand why folks have to have a phone attached to their ears every hour of the day, and that video games are cool, but rather read a book. He finds it odd that some of his friends will not go anywhere if they do not have door-to-door service via car. Yep, he is considered a nerd. However, he can think for himself, and cares about the future of this planet & his generation’s legacy to its children. Not bad for only being 18.
I find myself defending my choices for my children, as I am deemed fanatical or eccentric. I make the choices I do because I have the responsibility of not only raising respectful, civil and honest citizens of American society, but also human beings that are financially and environmentally conscious of all their actions and how those actions could have an effect on someone across the world from them.
Since my children comprehend this—at least I hope they do, I consider my job done in the area of financial and environmental responsibility. Please, pass the torch on to your children, and your children’s children. We on occasion believe we are in this all alone, but if we each just say no to certain items, and teach our children to just say no, a domino affect happens, and spreads. We are human, we do not do what others say, but from experience as a parent, we certainly emulate what others do.
Say NO to Holiday gifts that go against your personal values. Do not just accept the items and return them to the store. Tell the giver, ‘thank you,” and make clear why you cannot accept the gift. When your children are older, they can write thank you notes explaining why they choose to not accept a specific gift. You may hurt a few feelings along the way, but your conscience will be clear. And you may be surprised at how many folks do not know the background behind an item from creation to finding it on the store shelf. Educate them, too.
So, I bet you’re wondering what we do to celebrate the season or what types of gifts we give to others.
Until next time . . .
Peace
Total Comments 3
Comments
 |  No matter what, you are ultimatly the parent and have to make the decision on what kind of stuff you want your kids to have. My family celebrates Christmas pretty differntly than others, even differntly than how I was raised. I was raised very comercialy. I was not a greedy or bratty kid. When I was very little it was gifts from the salvation army, but as my folks could afford it was cabbage patch kids and my little pony, atari, and simon. The gifts under the tree by the time I was 13 engulfed half of the living room (granted 6 kids). I was appriciative of my gifts and beleive you me I loved my cabbage patch kids, still have them to this day. But it was too much. There was very little focus on the true meaning of the holiday for us. So with my family it is about the religous meaning of the holiday (although I struggle with this as I am not sure if this is a true religious holiday) and TRY to keep out of what I feel are pagan additions. Although...we do do a small tree. We limit the spending to $100-150 per kid. That usually gets some clothes (although thats no fun) and a few toys. The older kids might get one big thing instead of a lot of smaller things. Like last year I broke down and got a gameboy (which was lost within a few months!) and an iPod (great deal on it and was for a 15 year old) We don't seem to have a problem with others buying toys for the kids. I have allowed my kids to play with barbies (only one so far ever liked them) and those ugly bratz dolls...my 10 year old wanted one so I told her she had to buy it with her allowance. She saved, got one, and then soon thought it was dumb. Lesson learned. We have one set of grandparents that gives clothes (nice quality clothes...oshkosh, etc that last forever) and one set that gives educational stuff like books, bibles. art supplies, etc. I am OK with a little comerical toys...but all in balance. My 4 year old loves his winnie the pooh stuffed bear. I have asked for no clothes with writing on the butt...that drives me nuts! But really when all is said and done, you are the parent and your standards are what they are. I have taken back a a few toys because I wasnt sure about them....either too old for the kid or had guns or something violent like that. And as far as giving to others... I really like homemade gifts. I love making and doing for others and really feel special when I know that someone took the time to make me something. |
Posted 10-29-2007 at 05:17 AM by queenofthehivemomof5  |
| | Shalom (Peace)! I agree with you about the religious aspect of the winter holidays be you Christian, Jewish like us, Pagan, or another religion that celebrates a winter holy day. We need to teach the meaning of why we celebrate and not give in to all the commercialism found on cereal boxes, television, and even radio. I must confess, after rereading my post & cutting my foot on a . . . LEGO brick, I realized that my kids DO receive commercial toys, but only ones, like you, I deem worthy, like those blasted LEGOS.  , for your comments! |
| Posted 10-30-2007 at 05:30 AM by phoenix |
| | The past few years I've been doing homemade gifts for all extended family members and friends unless I find something specifically that is perfect for them or they have a need that I can fill via a gift. I've done holiday magnets, baked goods, notecards and recipe cards. I could waste x amount of money and buy something they may or may not like, or I could put my time and heart into a gift that can be used and enjoyed for years to come. We don't have children but if we buy for children who are family members it's usually coloring books and crayons or books appropriate for their age. Some people go way overboard for Christmas. Hubby and I tend to buy each other things that we need and pepper in some wants. My parents still buy us a ton of gifts and I am 27! Everything they give is really appreciated and are things we need or will use (like bedsheets, kitchen utensils or books) but I feel guilty getting so much from them. My brother and I never got a lot of gifts growing up- we usually got some things like you posted (clothes, books, etc) and then my parents would put money towards a large family gift, like a larger summer vacation than we would normally take, billiard table, or a new swimming pool when our existing one was falling down. Some people I know have gone into debt over buying too many gifts. I think the people that love you would want you to take care of yourself rather than receive a gift that is going to require monthly payments for x amount of years! |
| Posted 10-30-2007 at 05:43 AM by kristen.c |
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